Anything But Ordinary

I should've been clued into the fact that something was wrong when our typically-up-by-7:30 child had to be awakened at 11. She was fine. No fever, not acting funny, just fine. Well, she didn't eat much breakfast, but she asked for milk right when she got up. I figured she had to have been thirsty after sleeping for 15 hours. I needed to make a run to JoAnn's for some thread for a totally awesome project I'm working on (hence the lack of blog pictures. I've been busy crafting in my free time!). When we arrived at JoAnns, I was looking for some wipes in the car so I could wipe Rylie's dirty hands. She had held on to some rusted bars next to the stairs at our house, and as soon as we arrived to JoAnn's, she was saying, "Wipe hands. Wipe hands." While I'm shoveling through the already disheveled car, I hear it. The unmistakable wet gurgly sound. I look up, and Rylie is in mid-throw up. There's also no mistaking the smell...it's a mixture of curdled milk and overly-aged parmesean. Don't ask how I was able to pick out those two distinct smells. A mother's nose is a crazy thing! I go over to her (still in her car seat), and rub her head telling her that she's throwing up and it will be over very soon. She struggles for air a few times and generally looks petrified. I feel so sorry for her. As soon as she's finished, she looks up at me and says, "Wipe carseat." Not "hold you," "Mama," or even any tears. Just "wipe carseat." That's my little OCD baby! Anyway, I'm still trying to find the wipes at this point. I can't get her out of the carseat and let her stand in the parking lot, so she has to stay in her carseat and wait. I finally find the wipes (in the front seat!), and I get busy trying to scrape as much junk out of the seat and off of her as possible. If I had to guess, I'd say there was a good cup of throw-up...I know, I know...too much information! Anyway, the dirty wipes are piling up, so I grab a wal-mart bag full of sand toys and dump the toys out into the floor board so I can use the bag. Then, I get Rylie out of the carseat and strip her down to her diaper, shoes, and of course, her bow. I put her clothes in a little sand bucket. Oh, and in order to get the soaked shirt off of her, I had to pull it over her head. The neck hole wasn't big enough to pull down over her arms and legs. She of course got throw up chunks in her hair. Yeah, gross. So we walk on into JoAnns. Me, a frazzled mess, and Rylie in just a diaper, shoes, and bow. I immediately ask if they have any kid-sized shirts. The friendly lady points to the back while giving me a strange look. I got used to it. We got the strange looks during our entire trek to the back of the store and they continued as I took a hot pink youth small shirt off the rack and put it on my nearly-naked two year old. Mind you, those youth small shirts are clearly made for 8-10 year olds! (See above photo) But it worked, and honestly, the color looked great on her! :-) Since we are already at JoAnn's and Rylie is doing great (munching on goldfish and chatting the time away happily), I put Rylie in a buggy and decide to pick up the few things I need. We pay for those items and the shirt, and I take Rylie back to the car. Thankfully, I had sense enough to crack the windows before we went into JoAnn's, but Tripp advised me to go ahead and crack them a lot more. He was confident that no one would want to steal the car. For some reason, the knock-you-out throw-up smell isn't quite the new car scent most people go for. Anyway, after cracking the windows more, I transfer Rylie to her stroller. We walk back up to JoAnn's as I push her and pul the empty cart behind me to drop it off inside JoAnn's. No, they don't have those parking lot cart corrals. After dropping off the cart, we trek it down to BJ's (similar to a Sam's Club). Thankfully there is one of those in the viscinity; however, it is a good 200 yards (that's 2 football fields!) away. Keep in mind it was only about 95 degrees out today. Rylie's still doing great at this point, and I am on a mission to find a cheap carseat that she can ride home in. Here's my justification for that for those of you who doubt me: 1. Yes, we did have a towel we could throw over the carseat seat, but the straps were covered in throw-up, and there's no quick way to get that out. 2. I didn't want Rylie to have to sit in the throw-up smell and end up throwing up again on the way home. 3. It is about a 15-20 minute ride home, and putting her back in that chunk-covered car seat might have been legally defined as torture. I wasn't gonna take my chances! So there we are on our way down to BJ's. Everything is going great! We even find a carseat that will work. I went against all my better judgment and got one that was forward-facing (yes, our two year old is still rear facing, but I want you to know that a car-seat installation teacher pulled me aside at target after she saw me in the parking lot to thank me for being such a safety nut about the carseat.) Anyway, back to the story. Okay, so I don't know if you've looked at car seats lately or not, but the boxes are, well, huge. This one was only about 1 and 1/2 times the size of the stroller I was pushing. I had no idea how to get it back up those 2 football fields to the car. I started out with the box in front of the stroller, and Rylie was pushing it with her feet, but that quickly got too complicated. I ended up propping it up on the basket under the stroller and holding it up with my body. It really was huge. The box was resting up under my arm pits, and my arms were reaching straight out, my hands barely able to grab onto the stroller handles. We made it like this all the way back to the car.
Back at the car...I decide to put Rylie in the front passenger's seat with a paper and a pen. And ya know what? I can't find a single pen mark on the car anywhere! She's such an obedient little girl! I was very proud of her. I proceed to "install" the carseat (again against my better judgment) on the passenger's side of the car. This is when I became very thankful for husbands, fathers, and fathers-in-law...and also garages where the sun isn't beating down on you. At one point while I was trying my best to install the car seat, I looked up, and Rylie was in the driver's seat (the car was running so that we could have air conditioning!) and had already turned on the wipers. She quickly got back in the passenger's seat, and I tried to hurry up with the carseat. It was terrible. The car seat could move side to side a good foot or so, and I couldn't figure out how to raise the straps up to her shoulder level. She ended up riding in it with the straps coming up from the middle of her back, over her shoulders, and buckled in the front. She almost looked about as hunch-backed as I do! While I was busy with the seat, I felt something on my arm. I brushed at it, but I soon felt it a few more times. I kept brushing it off. It kept coming back. I looked down and saw what I thought was a wasp but quickly realized was a large spider still attached to some webbing. I only went a little crazy in the parking lot. :-) When the carseat had been installed, I went back to the front of the car to get Rylie. She was busy munching away. I asked her what she was eating and she said, "chew gum". To her, this means to bite off little pieces, chew them up, and swallow them. She had an entire pack of gum in her lap, but I could only find one wrapper, and she was still holding most of one piece in her hand, though it was covered in bite marks. She spit it out on command, and then she asked to go see the puppies. PetSmart is located right next to JoAnn's where we were parked. So, we went and saw the puppies (and kitties and fishes) and got a water so that we wouldn't pass out or something. We had worked hard, and Rylie had been a fantastic baby! So, after thinking this whole thing through, I've come up with several praises:
1. Removable carseat covers (they're in the wash now with detergent and a cup of vinegar-thanks Grant Tinye!) The straps are a different story-not removable, but we'll figure something out!
2. Those men in your life who install carseats, tote children around, and carry heavy boxes. Thank you Tripp for your selflessness and your brawn! I wish you had been there to save the day today!
3. Today was one of the only times that I've been thankful that I'm not currently the mother of 2 or 3 or more children. I can't imagine doing all of that with a double stroller or another baby or toddler in tow!
4. Doing crazy things like counting the number of steps to your apartment. It takes 2 flights of 9 stairs each to get to ours. It's strangely difficult to see the steps when you're carrying a throw-up saturated "deluxe-sized" car seat upstairs to be washed.
5. Baby wipes...they are FABULOUS, and if you don't already keep some in the car, get some!
6. I don't often miss it, but I did miss Thomson today. I have a feeling that if someone had seen me trying to haul a huge box and a stroller all that way to my car in a completely different parking lot, someone would've offered to help.
7. The fact that Rylie made it through the rest of the day with no more sickness, and I didn't vomit from the smell on the way home!
8. A delightfully laid-back happy child. Rylie did a great job just going with the flow! Oh, and I'm also thankful that she has great aim. She managed to get all of her throw-up on one side of the carseat! Well, it was on both chest straps, but only one side of the fabric! I was so proud of her! :-)
9. Humor and a laid-back attitue. You need them some days, well, most days if you're a mother, and you have to tap into it. Sometimes all you can do is laugh at things. You often can't change them, so you might as well make the best of it. If your car smells like throw-up anyway, it probably won't get much worse, so take your child to see the puppies! Afterall, she deserves it after all she's been through!

10. Oh, and I'm also thankful for deodorant! :-)